A Bit Weird

My copy of Jeff Chu’s new book arrived yesterday and I just had a chance to read the chapter that tells my story.  I have to tell you, it is a bit weird to read your story in a book like that.

Jeff did a great job telling the story. It is accurate, and he demonstrates a lot of insight in how he tells the story.

Reading it was hard. Much of it covers a part of my life that I am not proud of.  It really looks at one of the lowest times in my life.  This is no hero story.  Not by a long shot.

But it is my story.  It is a real story.

I am also glad that my chapter is in the book. I lived for 17 years with a very big lie.  Hiding was a soul-killing experience.  So much so that I ended up in a total train wreck.  I survived… and today I would say I have thrived — relationally, spiritually, and just about every way that you could.  But 17 years is a long time to live with a lie.  That is why I have embraced a discipline of transparency.

This chapter is a very open, raw, real look inside a very private window.  Having it out there makes me feel vulnerable.  It means I can’t side-step what happened or try and spin it away.

And that is a good thing.

A lot has changed in the two years since Jeff interviewed me.  And a lot has changed over the past four years as well.

I will blog more about how things have changed and where I am at today over the next few weeks — but for now, I hope you read the (whole) book… and let me know what you think.