Who Do You Talk To?

Who do you talk to about issues that are hard to talk about?

I was wondering about that the other day.  It seems to me that most people don’t have someone to talk to about important issues in their lives.

Who do you talk to about your failures? Temptations? Struggles? Fears?

Who do you talk to about your sexual life (married or unmarried)? About parenting? About finances? Debt?

Who do you talk to about the things that are hard to talk about, but we desperately need to talk about?

For me, over the years I have always had a friend/mentor who I could talk about anything with.  And did. But then I went through several years where I didn’t have that person around anymore.  The results are now a well-documented disaster.

In high school, it was Steve — my Young Life leader.

In college, it was Mark — my InterVarsity staff guy.

Post-college, it was Steve again. But then I worked for him too, so that was hard.

And then it became a peer… Vince. But then he started working for me, so that was hard too.  

Then it was a close friend at the church.

And then I went awhile without that kind of person in my life.

Now?

My small group guys are the ones I can call and talk to about anything.  Same with J.R.  My friend Nate is someone I would put increasingly in that category.  

I recognize that most people don’t have that person.  I get to play that role for a fair number of folks.  It is always a privilege.

But one of the things that is sad to me is that most people don’t find these kinds of relationships in the church, with their pastor, in Christian community.  That is where these kinds of conversations and relationships belong most … and thrive.

SO… if you’ve got these kinds of relationships, what are they like? How did you develop them?

IF NOT… what is your plan to get some?