Ten Tips for Parents (of LGBTQ+ Teens & Young Adults)

Appendix H

1. Swap purity policing for wisdom language: talk about honesty, consent, safety, and good fruit—not line-drawing.
2. Teach consent clearly: enthusiastic, informed, reversible, specific—and model how to stop at any point.
3. Name the covenant trajectory: help them imagine relationships that move toward public, durable commitment, not endless ambiguity.
4. De-shame the conversation: curiosity ≠ rebellion. Keep channels open so they’ll actually ask you things.
5. Health is holy: normalize STI testing, condoms/barriers, and (when appropriate) PrEP/PEP; schedule checkups like you do dentist visits.
6. Safety first: if home/church isn’t fully affirming, prioritize physical and psychological safety while you keep talking.
7. Teach media and phone wisdom: nudes/sexting, privacy, and how to say no to pressure—online and IRL.
8. Invite mentors: connect them with one or two trusted, affirming adults who will tell the truth and keep confidence.
9. Practice the Fruit Tests together: ask, “Is this producing love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control?”
10. Stay the parent: set clear expectations + durable love. No ultimatums about identity or orientation—ever.