Pastors

Unless you have been or are a pastor, it is hard to fully understand the dynamics and pressure you are under on a regular basis.  I am currently working 3 different part time jobs and going to school full time… two of the jobs are seriously physically demanding… and I am not working nearly as hard — or as stressed — as I was when I pastoring full time.  (To get some sense of the ebb and flow and adrenalin rushes of pastoring/preaching, check out the video clip from Perry Noble at the bottom of this post.)

All of this is to say that over the past 6 months, there are some things I have been dealing with, struggling with and processing that only another pastor can fully appreciate.

And overall I have been incredibly blessed by a number of pastors who have reached out to me and really cared for — unconditionally, with love and grace and compassion.  In fact, as a group, pastors have shown me more grace and love and care than almost any other group… and this mostly from pretty conservative Evangelical pastors (though some have been mainline and more liberal pastors as well.)

Just last week I spent an hour or more meeting with a Lutheran pastor.  While we have known each other for many years, we actually didn’t really know each other that well.  But when he found out all that was happening with me, he reached out.  We met and it was really good and affirming and encouraging.  He was able to understand some of the unique challenges and issues I was facing in terms of loss and pain that I think only a pastor — and maybe only a church planter — could fully understand.  It was really good to have a place to talk about calling and discernment and mourning a lost call.  I look forward to ongoing conversations with him.

And others have reached out as well…

A good friend from UCONN and seminary who now pastors nearby…

A church planting woman who has been an incredible encouragement to me…

A pastor friend who spent a couple of hours with me in the midst of an incredibly busy schedule (he was in the process of moving, church planting, selling his home, etc) — just to pray, talk, and smoke cigars in his mancave.  

A priest who is a former boss and spiritual mentor who I have met with often over the past 6 months…

A pastor friend who used to serve on our Board…

Friends from seminary…

Folks I worked with in Young Life…

The pastor who led my tele-coaching network last year…

The pastor who helped lead me to Christ and I met with many times this summer…

And then there are the pastors who have emailed me… facebooked me… or reached out through this blog.

In many ways, little needs to be said.  I know that they know that I know that they know… and there is comfort in that.

And I have been so grateful for that.

But not all pastors have responded this way.

There is the pastor who wouldn’t return phone calls, violated confidentiality, and lied to me.

There is the pastor who when I emailed them to tell them, all I got back was a curt email saying he needed more time to process before he really responded… I am still waiting 6 months later.

There is the pastor I called to see if I could go to their Celebrate Recovery ministry and was told, in no uncertain terms, NO.

There is the pastor who was advising the church on what to do, but refused to even speak to me at all…

But these folks have been the exception.  Overwhelmingly there has been grace and love and compassion… which is what you would expect from pastors… but it is also good to experience it.

I know pastors get a bad wrap sometimes… but you should know I am a big fan!

(And here is the Perry Noble video I promised earlier… it is only tangentially related to the topic of this post, but I am a big Perry fan… so here you go.)